New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
