just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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