i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
