we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
