I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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