You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
do herpes really smell.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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