i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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