Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
