fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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