Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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