if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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