if only i could text you this smell
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
