Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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