marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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