I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
