dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
