he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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