It's Friday. Sex?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
