Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
