Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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