the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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