your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hotel room ftw
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
