My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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