Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
