Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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