ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
