i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
