its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
