She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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