can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
