erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
