hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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