Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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