her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
