What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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