who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
