I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
