i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
