so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
