ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
