wat bout pragnant strippers??
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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