It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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