Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
