your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
