i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
