this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
