So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize