oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you had me at cake vodka
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
