Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
