The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
