Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
