i would punch a child for taco bell
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
