drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Drake has all the answers
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize