somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize