This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize