can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
