I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
