After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
