I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
