You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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