may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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